Ryan Galiotto

Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

A low budget for your wedding may seem depressing but don’t despair. Low budget is not the same as cheap. It doesn’t have to mean doing without things that you would really like.

A low budget wedding can still look stylish. There is no need to miss out. You can make great savings on the quality of services that you really want.

A wedding in the USA now costs $26,000 on average. This is partly due to couples breaking their budget. But also because the industry is set up to make the biggest possible profit from the event.

As soon as you mention the word wedding, prices go up. And the vendors all have their ways of influencing you towards the more expensive options. With hidden charges, your costs can easily spiral out of control.

It doesn’t need to be like this. If you know how wedding professionals work, you can avoid the traps and come away with some great deals. The top prices that are usually charged leave room for some big discounts if you know how to get them.

At each wedding planning step, you can make some major savings. From limousines to catering, to the wedding dress. You wouldn’t believe the actual cost of some of these goods and services.

There are few little girls who have not used an old sheet as a wedding gown and imagined every aspect of the wedding day. But in real life, each of those details costs, and some of them have to be sacrificed.

It is still possible to have the wedding of your dreams at a price you can afford. But lack of experience in planning such major events can be costly, in money and in emotional stress.

If you can’t afford a wedding planner, you still need guidance on what needs to be done and when. How to choose you vendors. How much of your budget should be allocated for each item. How to deal with the inevitable problems.

A low budget wedding can still be an occasion that is fondly remembered and talked about for years to come. And nobody needs to to know that it didn’t cost a fraction of what they imagine, unless you want to tell them.

I’ve been having major trouble around our house concerning 3 of our kids and the inability (or unwillingness is more like it) to be ready to leave for school on time. I started thinking about the problem, and wondered if this was my fault (Heaven forbid!) or theirs. Well, the conclusion I came to was a little of both. Let me explain.

I started looking through my Total Transformation workbook for some answers, and I happened upon a section called Ineffective Parenting Roles. Uh oh, this doesn’t sound good. Better take a look, though.

Holding my breath, I read on. It seems there are 7 ineffective parent roles, that seem like I mean well, aren’t allowing my kids to be self responsible, accountable or give them the chance to change. This in itself was a bitter pill to swallow, but not as bitter as the fact I could see myself acting several of these roles out at various times – uggh!

My favorite part – the Martyr.

A glimpse of the Martyr –

* Takes on the childs responsibilities, for example, wakes their child up repeatedly.

* Keeps lower what is expected and having no limits on what is acceptable.

* Fearing that the kid may not be happy or be stressed.

This teaches the child:

* Learned helplessness is effective. The less ability the child demonstrates, the less is asked of him.

* This unconditional approval can be demanded. Not earned, but demanding, threatening, or misbehaving will get it.

* The parents don’t believe they can do it. They sadly learn that they are unable to perform things, to earn the approval or to control how he acts.

Doesn’t that sound great? I was sure I was being effective!

Oh and there are 6 more of these lovely parenting roles.

This is just a brief overview, but I will give you enough info to see if you recognize yourself in any of these. James Lehman fleshs these out in the Total Transformation and the best news is that he will tell you how to resolve them! Yeah!

1. Bottomless Pockets – Buys off the child to avoid conflict or behavior issues. Children learn the sense of entitlement.

2. Over-Negotiator – Negotiates already established rules, commitments, and standards. Child learns that boundaries aren’t solid.

3. Screamer – Get sucked into the screaming and name calling games. Kids learn no one is in control.

4. Ticket Puncher – Over indulges the child emotionally. The parent takes any and all opportunities to shower their child with love and attention. The child learns there is no objective right or wrong.

5. The Savior – Blindly comes to the kid’s defense. Kids learn that they are not accountable to any authority.

6. The Perfectionist – Has impossible high standards to meet. Child learns to only fail.

There you go – do you see yourself in any of those? I hope you don’t, but I know I’ve been guilty of most of them at one time or another. If you do feel like you need some help, or just want to learn more about these ineffective permissive parenting styles, get your hands on a copy of the The Total Transformation and check it out for yourself.